You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
