yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
