Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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