I am spending my child support on dildos
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
