She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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