Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
