If i come over, it means nothing
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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