She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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