just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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