Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
In America we eat man semen.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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