Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
