Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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