Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
