Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
