I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
