told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
where are you?
Hypothermia
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
