dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
