I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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