one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
