I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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