So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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