LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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