Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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