i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
