id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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