I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
