So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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