i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
