the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
