Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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