last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Randomize
