You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
