So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
