just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
