i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
