I smell stomach acid.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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