who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
