I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
