You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
