I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
What drink are we having for lunch?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
