i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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