I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
