I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
