hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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