Well apparently he's into motor boating.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
her vagine was all disorganized.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
