There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
