and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
