So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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