Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
