Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
